How To Speak Your Truth with Certainty and Confidence

While it isn’t always easy to honor and speak our truth, here are practical steps to make the process a bit more gentle for you and others.

Justin H. Lee
7 min readFeb 28, 2020


Photo by Riz Mooney on Unsplash

Have you ever said yes when you meant no?

Ever stayed at a party longer than felt good?

Or went along with something because you didn’t want to upset anyone?

I know I have.

Speaking and honoring our yes’ and no’s isn’t something we’re inherently good at. Growing up most of us were rarely given permission to explore what it means to know and be in our truth.

All too often, we found that when we shared what we wanted, we were told it was wrong, we were wrong, or that our desires or preferences were inconvenient for those around us.

The expectations, disappointments, and judgment that plague so many modern relationship dynamics, be they platonic, romantic, professional, or casual, are often the byproducts of systems of upbringing based more on control and domination than of connection and empowerment.

This causes all kinds of challenges for us as we grow old and attempt to socialize with other humans who also have similar woundings.

It seems vital that we begin to create a culture that when someone says yes or no, we recognize they are taking care of themselves.

This may seem trite, but as we dive deeper into the subconscious realms of our human experience, we can see how often what we do is an attempt at making ourselves, situations, and those around us more ok.

The challenge we face in today’s modern world, is that many of us are uncomfortable with even the idea of putting ourselves ahead of others. We are told that it makes us selfish, self-indulgent, and certainly not the kind of people we want to grow up becoming.

Without realizing it, we end up putting our emphasis on taking care of the external, and as a result we find ourselves with an internal deficit. One that ironically, due to our past conditioning, we usually attempt to fill with external actions or validation from others.



Justin H. Lee

Human/Being • Expat in Asia • Connection Facilitator • Slightly Angsty • Writes on Mental Health, Relationship Dynamics, Man Stuff, and Heart-Forward Leadership