Member-only story
The Gift & Opportunity of “No”
What lies just beyond our fear of rejection, wanting to avoid looking bad, and resistance to not getting what we want?
What really happens when someone says no to our request?
Often our minds will say that something, is not ok.
The body tenses, and the voice in our heads tells us that we really should have kept our mouth shut and desires hidden. That we’ve done something wrong and that we are now to blame for things being less than what they were.
Something you may notice in the previous paragraph is how much it’s about us, and not really about the other person.
It seems our default is to look at the “I” instead of seeing that there is also “you” and how, ultimately within any invitation accepted or not, there is “we.”
While it is easy for us to see what we want as being important, necessary, or even perhaps good for the other person or situation, if we truly believe in our own sovereignty and freedom to say yes or no to things, it would be quite the broken circle if we did not also offer as much of the same permission of choice to others as well.
This means letting go and surrendering.
